Butterfly
by HeKillsWithHisSmile
Summary: Rose dies of an illness that has progressed to far to be cured. The Doctor then sees this butterfly, which after a while is with him all the time. Is it possible that the butterfly is Rose? And will the Doctor be able to set it/her free?
1. Your need to Leave is your so long

_**Another Take That inspired story! This one is called Butterfly. It is a beautiful song; listen to it if you haven't heard it! It might help you understand the story a little more, but I'm not sure. It is such a beautiful song though.**_

* * *

><p><strong>Butterfly<strong>

"Rose, there's nothing I can do, I'm sorry. The illness has progressed too far. I can't cure it." The nurse said to her, he sounded regretful. The Doctor sat on the chair a little way from the bed, his head in his hands as he tried to take in all this. He couldn't look at anyone; he couldn't believe what he was hearing. Rose-his Rose-was fading away and there was nothing that anyone could do for her. She was like a butterfly flying away for the place where she lived. Her life was almost as short as a butterfly's to.

"Thank you." Rose croaked, she was feeling very ill, but still managed to say to the nurse a thank you. The Doctor looked up at the nurse, there was no emotion in his eyes and Rose felt like this was all her fault that she was doing this to the Doctor.

When she had first started feeling ill, she thought it was nothing, that it was just a passing bug that would go away in a couple of days. She hadn't said anything to the Doctor at the time, she now wished she had. The Doctor didn't know that she was ill until she collapsed just before the Doctor finished setting the controls for the adventure he had planned. If only Rose had told him when she first got sick, she might not be dying right in front of the man she loved, causing him pain that he didn't need to have.

The nurse left the Doctor and Rose alone. When he had gone the Doctor went over to Rose's side and held her hand.

"I'm sorry," Rose apologised.

"Why are you apologising?" The Doctor asked, he had tears in his eyes, but refused to let them fall.

"Because, if I had told you I was sick to begin with, then I might not be dying at the moment." Rose told him.

"It's not your fault Rose, OK?"

"But if I had told you, then you could have done something." The Doctor shushed her.

"Hey, it's my fault; I should have noticed that you were getting ill." The Doctor told her.

"I didn't want you to know. I thought it would go away after a few days. I couldn't stand you fussing over me. I never liked being fussed over." Rose told him.

"I know, but I'm your best friend I should have seen it before it was too late." The Doctor told her.

"I am sorry though, Doctor." Rose said, she was becoming weaker and weaker as they continued to talk.

"I know, I am too."

"I don't want to die."

"Shush, I know." The tears in the Doctor's eyes were flowing freely now, he couldn't hold them any longer.

They sat like that for a while, just talking about nothing important, knowing that this could be the last time they ever spoke to each other. Every now and again Rose would fall asleep and the Doctor would think that she was gone, but every time she awoke and the Doctor let out the breath he was holding. But every time she did that, Rose became weaker, her colour completely drained by now. She looked awful and the Doctor knew she didn't have long to go.

Suddenly, Rose began to have breathing difficulties. The Doctor held her hand tighter and put the other hand behind her head. Rose looked at him; they both knew it was time.

"Doctor..." Rose gasped.

"Shush, Rose, it's OK." He told her.

"I wish it was." Rose was struggling to get a sentence out now. "I think it's time."

"I know, let go, just let go." The Doctor told her, tears rolling down his face.

"I don't want to go," Rose said.

"I know, sweetheart, I don't want you to go either, but you have to. Just let go and fly away." The Doctor told her. He pressed his lips to hers for the first time that they both could remember and the first time that it meant something, but this was also the last kiss that they would ever share. When they pulled back, the Doctor put his hand behind Rose's head and gently placed her head back on the pillow, knowing that she was gone. She had flown away for here.

A tear fell from the Doctor's eyes and landed on the bed. Soon, he was sobbing for the loss of the woman he loved, the woman who had stolen his hearts, the woman he had never admitted his true feelings to; and now it was too late. She was gone: forever.

...

The Doctor cried and cried, knowing that he was now alone once again. He had lost his everything, his life. He wasn't sure how he was going to live without Rose by his side, smiling at him with excitement. He would try and find someone else; it was what Rose would have wanted for him. She wouldn't want him to be on his own. She would want him to be happy. How he was going to do that, he didn't know.

...

The Doctor walked back to the TARDIS one day. It had been 3 days since Rose's death. He hadn't met anyone yet, he stayed clear from people.

It was spring, there were flowers, bees and butterflies everywhere brightening everywhere he went, but for the Doctor the world was dark.

He was close to the TARDIS when this rose-red butterfly landed on his shoulder. He looked at it and smiled. The butterfly flew into his hand and the Doctor continued to look at it.

"Hello," he said. The butterfly looked at him. There was something about this butterfly that was familiar, but the Doctor couldn't put his finger on it. The Butterfly stayed on his hand for a while before flying off with its kind. The Doctor watched it fly away, tears in his eyes once again, not that they had yet left him. There hadn't been a day since the day Rose died where the Doctor didn't cry, whether it was just a few tears or full-on sobs, he would cry for his loss.

The Doctor opened the TARDIS doors and walked inside. Maybe that butterfly he had seen was a sign. For what, he didn't know.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Like it? Hate it? Not sure? Personally, I'm not sure. Once I get into this, I think it should be all right. <strong>_

_**Please review!**_

_**OAO**_

_**TakeThatTakeThis! XD :~**_


	2. Through the Laughter and The tears

_**The Doctor has a bit of a problem at the moment...**_

* * *

><p>The Doctor was in the kitchen, drinking. It was the only way he could clear his head of everything that had happened over the last two months. He didn't care that Jack, Donna and Martha were on board with him. He didn't care that he was a wreck and that it was starting to affect everyone else.<p>

Jack, Donna and Martha knew they had to act soon, before the Doctor got too out of hand. They knew that he had lost Rose and they knew he was upset. The news had hit Jack harder than Donna and Martha. He had known her for a few years, not as long as the Doctor but long enough for the news to cut deep within him. Martha and Donna had met Rose briefly once, but they never really got to know her. Even though they felt sad about what had happened, it didn't compare to how Jack and the Doctor-especially the Doctor- were feeling.

The three of them were in the library, all thinking the same thing: What were they going to do? Jack had suggested that one of them goes and talks to the Doctor, but the girls thought that was a bad idea, he was drunk and upset, not a great combination when you wanted to talk to him about the thing that he was upset about. Lord knows what could happen. They all knew what the Doctor was capable at doing when sober, so the thought of him doing anything like that drunk, scared them. Other than that though, they had no other ideas.

Jack couldn't take it anymore. He couldn't just stand back and do nothing while one of his best friends drank himself silly due to depression. He had to act and he had to act now!

"That's it; I don't care what you guys think. I'm going to talk to him. We can't just sit back and do nothing. And besides, if he tried to kill me, I won't die...well not for long anyway. I'll be fine." Jack said.

"Are you sure that's wise?" Donna asked.

"What choice do we have, Donna? He's killing himself slowly, we need to do something before it goes too far, he's been like this ever since Rose died." Jack told her.

"All right, go. But be careful." Martha told him.

"I will," Jack smiled at the two women and left the library in search of the Doctor, who was either in his room or in the kitchen.

Martha and Donna just watched him go, hoping that Jack might be able to do something.

...

Jack walked down the corridor, looking for the Doctor. When he got to the kitchen, the Doctor wasn't there, so he walked down the long corridor in search of his room, hoping that he was in there.

As Jack walked down the corridor he passed several rooms, which brought back old memories. There was the game room. He remembered the time just before the game station where he, the Doctor and Rose had a game on the Wii (the Doctor had managed to get it a few years before it came out in shops on Earth and no matter how he tried to tell Rose that she was, in a way, ruining her future, she and Jack had managed to convince the Doctor to play with them). It had been a good laugh for all three of them and Jack would do anything for it to happen just one more time. He would have loved to see the Doctor on the Wii now.

Jack also passed the swimming pool, which had also been a day to laugh at. He and Rose and somehow managed to get the Doctor in trunks and into the swimming pool. Jack could remember Rose laughing her head off at the fact that the Doctor was slightly scared of water. Jack too, remembered himself laughing at that. But in the end all three of them had gotten in and had had a good laugh. Jack missed those times, the times where it had been the three of them having a good time. Oh, what he would give to have one of those moments once again.

Finally, he came up to the Doctor's room. He was about to open the door when he heard the sound of the old Time Lord crying from within. Jack decided that it was time to help him, so he opened the door and walked inside, shutting the door behind him.

Inside the Doctor was sitting on his bed a bottle of vodka in his hands, looking at a picture and crying. The Doctor was obviously completely drunk, but it didn't stop Jack from feeling sorry for the man sitting on the bed in front of him. He walked up to him.

"Doctor, you OK?" Jack asked.

The Doctor looked at him; the strong smell of alcohol coming from his breath hit Jack hard. "No," he answered honestly. "I miss her," Even though the Doctor was completely hammered, his speech was still clear and Jack could hear the emotion in his voice.

"I know, but drinking this is not going to help." Jack said.

"What would you know?" The Doctor growled.

"I know how you feel, I miss Rose too, but you don't see me drinking every day and night." Jack told him. "And I have lost my fair share of people in the past. I lost Ianto, but didn't get drunk...all the time. What would Rose say if she could see you know, eh?"

"She'd tell me to get my act together and stop moping about." The Doctor said through heavy tears.

"Exactly,"

"But it's the only way I can let my mind go clear." The Doctor said.

"I know, but there must be other ways. Music?" The Doctor shook his head.

"No, that only makes me miss her more." The Doctor told him, he took another swig from the bottle and Jack grabbed the bottle off of him.

"Stop drinking, it's doing you no good." Jack told him sternly, the Doctor tried to snatch the bottle back but Jack held it out of his reach. The Doctor made to grab it again, but this time fell off the bed and landed in a heap on the floor. "You're not getting it back." Jack said.

"Give it back." The Doctor shouted at him. He tried to get off the floor but he was too drunk to stand.

"No, Doctor, look at yourself, you're a mess. And you're hurting everyone around you." Jack told him.

"But I miss her!" The Doctor shouted.

"We all do, but this is not the solution!" Jack said. He began looking for any other bottles in his room and after finding at least five, Jack sighed. "I'll leave you alone now, but I'm taking these." Jack carried the bottles as he walked out the Doctor's room, leaving the drunken Time Lord on the floor. Jack hadn't wanted to leave him like that, but he needed to see what he was doing to himself, it was the only way. He just hoped that the Doctor stopped soon.

...

Jack carried the bottles back into the library where Martha and Donna were still sitting. One look at the bottles and Martha and Donna were starting to get a little more than a bit worried.

"We need to get rid of any alcohol in the TARDIS. We have to save the Doctor from himself." Jack said putting the bottles on the floor.

"Are they all from today?" Martha asked.

"I don't know, but we need to get rid of them."

"Won't the Doctor try and get them back?" Donna asked.

"He can't even get off his bedroom floor at the moment, so as long as we get this done tonight, then we won't have anything to worry about."

"How are we going to know where he's hid them all?" Martha asked.

"Hopefully the TARDIS will be able to help us. I think she wants the Doctor back as well." Jack told them.

"OK, let's get on with it then. The sooner we get this done the better." Donna said. The three of them began their search.

...

Back in the Doctor's room the Doctor had managed to get himself on his bed again. He opened one of the draws by his bedside and took out a mini bottle of vodka that Jack hadn't seen. He opened it and took a long swig from the bottle before lying on his side on the bed and continued to drink.

...

It was a while later and Jack, Donna and Martha had collected all the bottles they could find when the TARDIS showed them an image on the scanner. It was of the Doctor lying on his bed, asleep, with a small bottle of vodka in his hand and an open draw with about two more bottles inside. Jack groaned and the three of them headed off to the Doctor's room. Hoping that he didn't wake up.

When they got there, the Doctor was still asleep and the bottle was still in his grip. Jack carefully took the bottle away from him and Martha and Donna grabbed the bottles in the draw. The three of them looked at their friend feeling sorry for him. It hadn't been easy on him, but by doing what he was doing to himself was only making things worse for him and everyone else. They just hoped that this worked.

When everything was done and there were no more bottles around the place, the three of them took them to a large dumpsite, which she had flown them to, and they disposed of the bottles, hoping that that was one problem sorted.

The next problem on their list was what where they going to do with the Doctor when he woke up?

* * *

><p><em><strong>Poor Doctor...by the way I never intended for the Doctor to do this to himself! I don't know what happened, but something in my mind went: 'Right, drunk Doctor' Originally I was going to have him drinking tea in the kitchen being all sad, but then I saw the word 'drinking' and then the rest...well y'can see where it led.<strong>_

_**Please review! And don't worry he won't be drunk all the time! And that butterfly will be making an appearance in the next chapter...well that's the plan, but as you can see, my stories don't always go to plan...**_

_**OAO**_


	3. Butterfly, fly

_**Return of the Butterfly!**_

* * *

><p>When the Doctor awoke the next morning, he had a terrible hangover. His head felt like it was going to explode. He couldn't remember much of yesterday which was good in a way. The only thing he could remember was Jack telling him to get his act together. He was right. Now he was sober the Doctor could see what he was doing to himself.<p>

He walked into the bathroom and looked at himself in the mirror. He was a state, he looked tired and older. He didn't like the way he looked. Jack was right; he had to do something about this and now. He couldn't go on like this; Rose wouldn't want him to be like this. The thought of Rose made the Doctor's eyes sting. He missed her so much; he thought his hearts would literally break. He needed her, but this time she wasn't coming back to him. She was gone forever.

The Doctor washed his face and looked at himself one last time before making his way down to the kitchen to get something to clear his head from the alcohol. How could he have been so stupid?

When he walked into the kitchen, Jack, Martha and Donna were already in there eating their breakfasts. The Doctor didn't say anything to them, he didn't even smile, and he just walked up to the breakfast bar, grabbed a banana and boiled the kettle.

Donna looked at the Doctor; she could see the pain in his eyes. She got up and walked up to him, resting a hand on his shoulder.

"Are you all right?" Donna asked. The Doctor looked at her briefly before turning his head so he couldn't see her. Donna took his silence as a 'no'. "Doctor, if you need any help, we're here for you." Donna said. The Doctor turned to her.

"I don't need any help! I'm fine!" The Doctor snapped at her. He then stormed out of the kitchen, forgetting about his drink, and slamming the door behind him. Donna sighed and sat back down at the table. Jack put his hand over hers.

"He'll be all right; he's probably just annoyed that we took all the vodka away from him." Jack laughed, trying to lighten the mood, but it didn't help.

"I'm gonna go and have a shower." Donna said.

"Me too," Martha said. The two women got up and headed for their bathrooms. Jack sighed and followed them to his.

...

The Doctor stormed into his room and slammed the door shut, before going to his draw for the vodka he had hidden. He opened the draw only to close it again, because there was nothing in there. The Doctor growled angrily, and then began to look around the rest of his room, but he still couldn't see any of his hidden bottles.

By now, he was very angry. He sat on his bed and began to hit his wall until his hands bruised. He then lay down and cried...

...

Jack, Donna and Martha were once again in the library trying to figure out what they were going to do with the Doctor. They had to do something; they were all starting to think that he was worse without the alcohol.

...

The Doctor had finished crying his hearts out and knew what he had to do. He had to end his pain now. He couldn't take it any longer. He was numb, cold, empty all those things. His life was worthless now; he had nothing left to fight for. His planet and people were gone and now so was Rose; the woman he loved (loves) so much.

The Doctor stood up, grabbed his shoes and left his room. He didn't even bother trying to find the others; he just got out a piece of paper and wrote one word on it: Goodbye. Before putting it on the TARDIS console. He then grabbed his coat and left the TARDIS-one last time.

The Doctor walked out onto the streets of London. The Doctor didn't remember parking her hear so he guessed that the TARDIS had flown them hear during the night. The Doctor didn't care though; he just walked down the path towards the shop. He was going to buy a drink before he did anything else. It might make what he was planning to do that little bit easier, but then again, it might not.

He walked into the shop making sure he had enough money for one bottle of vodka. Thankfully he did. He walked up to the counter, not caring that there were other people in front of him telling him to bugger off to the back. Even the cashier told him to go to the back, but the Doctor just told them to give him a bottle of vodka. He then gave in the money and didn't want for the change before he walked back out the shop, ignoring everything he saw except the river.

The Doctor opened the bottle and took a long swig before he carried on his journey to the Thames. He didn't want to do what he was about to do, but it was the only way he could think of that would end his pain. He wanted to do it without any fuss or mess, just wanted to end this life.

The Doctor walked right up to the edge of the river where there weren't any people. The Doctor knew that there were going to be people watching him, but he didn't care; why would he? So there would be an investigation on why he did what he was about to do. So there would be a few friends of his upset about it, but at the moment the Doctor didn't care about anyone else. He didn't care that he was being selfish and he certainly didn't care about himself! He didn't care about anything anymore.

He took one last swig from his bottle and threw it into the Thames. The Doctor ignored the people shouting at him for doing it. It didn't matter, it wasn't like they could do anything to him, wasn't what he had been through punishment enough?

The Doctor then closed his eyes and took a step nearer to the edge, opened his eyes and prepared himself for the jump. He was about to jump when a small rose-red butterfly flew in front of him. The Doctor stopped what he was doing at looked at it. The way it was fluttering made the Doctor think that it was trying to stop him from killing himself. But why would a butterfly care?

The Doctor moved along a bit and the butterfly followed him. He moved back to where he was before and the butterfly followed him. This butterfly was definitely trying to stop him from jumping.

"Why are you trying to stop me? You're just a butterfly, a stupid red butterfly." The Doctor told it. "Let me pass, oh what the hell, I can get passed you." The Doctor made to jump but hit an invisible wall. The Doctor looked at the butterfly. "What? There's nothing there! It's in my imagination!" The Doctor said. The Butterfly continued to look at him. "You did that didn't you?" Unless the Doctor was going crazy, he swore he saw the butterfly nod. "Why?" The butterfly flew down to the ground and wrote a message in the dirt.

'_Don't so this, Doctor. The universe needs you.'_

The Doctor looked at the butterfly. "How did you do that? Who are you?" The Doctor asked. The butterfly wrote something else in the dirt.

'_I'm not a normal butterfly, but I'm not an alien. Now please, Doctor, go home. You don't have to do this, Rose wouldn't want you to.'_

At the sight of Rose's name, the Doctor began to tear up. But whatever this butterfly was, it was right, Rose wouldn't want him to do this to himself. The Doctor sighed and turned around, and began walking away, not catching the butterfly's last message.

'_Thank you..._

_I love you.'_

* * *

><p><em><strong>OK, so I've given the Doctor depression...and this butterfly loves the Doctor, I'll give you three guesses to who the butterfly is. Though it's pretty obvious...<strong>_

_**Anyway, how long will it be until the Doctor realises who this butterfly is. Once he clears his head and is thinking straight again, he might be able to guess...**_

_**Don't worry, it's not the last we've seen of the butterfly though, it will be making appearances possibly every chapter now! XD**_

_**OAO**_


	4. You'll always be apart of me

The Doctor walked into the TARDIS and straight passed the other three on the way to his room. How had that butterfly known who he was? How did it know about Rose? All those questions that the Doctor wondered about he forgot as he got out a bottle of vodka he had brought from the shop on the way back to the TARDIS and drank it sip by sip wanting to make it last as it was the only bottle he had. Thanks to Donna, Jack and Martha.

The Doctor lay on his bed thinking about whom that butterfly could have been, but his head was too fuzzy to think and he was too tired. The Doctor finished off his bottle and fell asleep, dreaming about who that butterfly was.

...

Martha had had enough. They were getting nowhere with trying to help the Doctor and he was doing nothing for himself. So she decided to go out. She told Donna and Jack and then grabbed her coat before going out into London for some fresh air.

It was starting to get cold, so Martha did her coat up and headed for the shops, knowing that it was the only thing that would help her to loosen up a bit.

...

A few minutes after Martha left, Jack and Donna too decided that they would go out and get some fresh air. They needed it after the month they had had. When they had come back aboard after Rose's death, they had thought that the Doctor might start to feel less lonely and he wouldn't be in the state he was now. Obviously they were wrong, he was worse than they had thought and whatever they did, it did nothing for him. Though, if they weren't there, the Doctor could have topped himself ages ago and that wouldn't have been any good to anyone, even himself.

The two of them grabbed their coats and left the TARDIS, leaving a note after them. They walked onto the streets of London and began to look for Martha. Getting out would do them good.

...

When they found Martha she was at the till at Greg's the Bakers. Donna and Jack walked up to her and smiled.

"Hey, you decided to come out to, then?" Martha asked.

"Yeah, any longer in that place an' I might've gone mental." Donna told her.

"Tell me about it, it feels so cramped all of a sudden. What's the Doctor up to?"

"I dunno, haven't seen him." Jack told her.

"Probably in his room." Martha said. "I do feel sorry for him though, it can't be easy for him. Do you think he'll ever move on?"

"Hard to tell, this is the Doctor we're talking about." Jack said. "When Rose was here, you couldn't get one without the other. But then she landed in a Parallel Universe he lost her."

"Then he got her back only a year ago and now she's gone, forever." Donna finished.

"Yeah,"

"What are we going to do?" The three of them moved out of the way and out the door as Martha spoke.

"I dunno, but we need to do something, he can't go on like this." Donna said.

"But what can we do, we can't just bring Rose back." Martha said.

"No, but there must be something else we can do." Jack said.

"Like what? Nothing is going to make him happy again." Donna told him.

"There must be something. We need to do something that takes his mind off of Rose." Jack explained.

"Everything reminds him of Rose, that's the problem. Being in the TARDIS probably makes him remember her!"

"Donna, we have to try something. Do you want the Doctor to kill himself? We got lucky this time, but what about next time?" Jack looked at her.

"Hold on, if we want him to move on, then maybe we should get him to talk about what's upsetting him. He needs to let it out. He hasn't spoken to anyone properly since." Martha said. Donna and Jack looked at each other and smiled.

"That could work and it's the only thing we've got. Come on then, let's finish up here and get back to the Doctor before he does something stupid." Jack said. The three of them headed back to the TARDIS hoping that they weren't too late to do anything.

...

Inside the TARDIS, the Doctor awoke from his slumber with another headache; he had no clue what the time was, but he didn't care. He wished he did, but he didn't. He wished he cared about something, but he couldn't.

He got up and walked to his door, he needed something to drink other than vodka. He knew what he was doing was bad, and he knew he had to stop. Maybe it was time to get addicted to something like Coffee or tea. Anything was better than vodka or any alcohol for that matter.

The Doctor walked into the kitchen and boiled the kettle before getting out a mug and a tea bag plus the milk. Once the kettle was boiled he made himself a cup of tea and sat down at the table to drink it. As he did, he thought about how he was going to move on before he hurt anyone else.

He was just finishing up when Jack, Donna and Martha walked into the kitchen. They were shocked to see the Doctor at the table drinking tea. They sat down by him and he looked up at them and gave a small smile.

"I'm sorry guys, I really am. I...I...just miss Rose more than I thought." The Doctor told them.

"We know, but drinking like you are and trying to throw yourself off the Thames isn't going to help." Martha told him.

"I know, I don't know what came over me." The Doctor said.

"You're depressed Doctor, that's why." Donna said.

"Will I ever get better?" The Doctor asked.

"Depends, some people do, some people don't. But even if you don't recover fully you need to control yourself." Jack told him.

"What if I can't? What if, there's one day in the future where I'm in too much pain to do anything and I can't do anything but kill myself or drink till I'm as drunk as I can be, or smoke or take drugs or anything like that?"

"Then make sure you're with someone." Martha said.

"You know what might help?" Donna asked.

"No? What?"

"Talking about it."

"I can't not without becoming a wreck."

"Maybe that's what you need. Maybe you just need to let it all out." Donna said.

"Maybe you're right."

"We'll be here for you. You know we will, we've been here for you since we came on board." Martha told him.

"And I just ignored you and was drowning in my depression." The Doctor mumbled. "OK, what do I talk about?"

"Just talk about the things you used to do with Rose and how it...came to an end." Jack said, hating the way he had phased the last part, but couldn't think of anything better.

The Doctor sighed and closed his eyes, picturing Rose in his mind as he spoke about the first time he met her and how she had saved his life the first day they met. He told them about the times they had with Jack and Jack nodded at some of the things the Doctor was saying. He talked about how she had changed the future the day they met her dad. He told them about how brave and human she had been during their adventure on the game station and how she had became the Bad Wolf, plus how she had caused him to regenerate.

The Doctor then went on to the adventures pre Canary Wharf. He told them about their trip to New Earth, all the time picturing her in him mind. Her hair, her laugh, her smile, everything about her.

When he got to the part about Canary Wharf he felt himself feel depressed again, but continued to tell them about the Cybermen, the Dalek's and the Parallel universes. He told them how Rose had chosen him over her mother and how she had tried to save the universe while putting her life at risk. The Doctor then told the three of them about their goodbye at Bad Wolf bay and how she had told him that she loved him and how the Doctor and tried to tell Rose that he loved her too, but ran out of time and was left on his own in the TARDIS until Donna came into.

He then went on to their adventures after their reunion and how they still hadn't told each other how they felt...well the Doctor anyway, even though they both knew how they felt about each other. He then told them about her getting ill and this is when he broke down. He tried to tell them about their conversation in the Hospital just minutes before she died and how they had shared their first and last proper kiss. And then how he had met that butterfly that saved him from killing himself, but all that came out was sobs as he tried to explain. Once the Doctor knew there was no use in trying to get the words out, he out his head on the table and cried. Martha and Donna went over to him and hugged him, while Jack stayed back, but looked at the Time Lord crying in front of him with sympathy.

"I'm sorry," the Doctor said as he began to calm down he wiped his tears away and looked at them.

"Why are you apologising? You don't need to. It's OK to cry." Donna told him.

"I feel so weak." The Doctor said.

"Weak as in ill?"

"No, I'm not as strong as I used to be." The Doctor told them.

"Doctor, you've lost someone you love, it's gonna make you feel weaker, but you're not weak Doctor." Jack told him.

"I feel it,"

"But you're not."

"What am I going to do?" The Doctor put his head in his hands.

"Try and be happy."

"How can I do that?"

"Go on adventures like you used to. Rose would want that for you."

"Just because you think Rose would want me to, doesn't mean you're right!" The Doctor shouted at them. The three of them were taken aback. "Sorry, I didn't mean to, I just wish you'd stop saying that. I know what Rose wants for me! I was there when she said it! I watched her die for God's sake!" The Doctor got up and ran out of the kitchen towards the library.

Jack, Martha and Donna sighed. "What are we going to do?"

"It went well until then."

"That's it, we can't mention her." Donna said.

"Why's that?" Martha asked.

"Cos, maybe if we don't mention her it might help the Doctor."

"Or it could make things worse." Jack pointed out. "It could make the Doctor think that we don't care."

"We have to try something. I can't take it anymore!" Donna told them. She groaned and hit her head on the table.

"We'll sleep on it. Come on, I think it's time we headed off to bed. Night." Jack walked off towards his room and the other two followed in his wake.

...

The Doctor was in his pyjamas and lying in his bed thinking about how he had acted and what had happened throughout the day. He felt bad about shouting at his friends; they were only trying to help him. He knew he needed it, but he wouldn't let them. He needed help more than anything. The Doctor was sure that he was going to be one of these people who needed to be looked after 24/7 because of depression. He felt angry at himself for getting like this, but worst of all he was angry at Rose for leaving him to get like this. If she hadn't of died, then the Doctor would have no reason to be like this. If only she had told him she was ill. He had told her that it was OK that she hadn't said anything that he understood. When truth was, he had been a little mad at her, because he could have treated it otherwise, but didn't want to say anything to upset her, not when she was dying.

The Doctor sighed and closed his eyes; he couldn't let himself be mad at Rose. It wasn't fair; he couldn't take his anger out on her. He soon fell into a dreamless sleep, and hoped that everything would get better soon.

...

As the Doctor slept the butterfly that had saved him flew into his room. There was a piece of paper on the side table so the butterfly decided to leave a message. It read:

'_Please let Jack, Martha and Donna help you.'_

The butterfly then flew down onto the bed and lay on the Doctor's chest, falling asleep soon after.

* * *

><p><em><strong>I almost didn't get the butterfly in this chapter! But I finally got it in! XD Thank you to everyone who has reviewed so far, glad you like this. I'll try and update soon!<strong>_

_**OAO**_


	5. girl, in every face I see

_**A couple of you were asking how the butterfly writes...I guess that's my fault for not making myself clear. Basically...magic, it's not a normal butterfly. And also in case you were wondering, Jack, Donna and Martha know about the Thames thingy cos of the TARDIS, but if you have your own idea about that then that's fine with me I just forgot that they didn't know and accidently put it in, so I put it down to the TARDIS telling them about it and that there was no need to panic. **_

_**Hope that's cleared things up for you, guys. If you have any other questions please let me know. XD Thank you!**_

* * *

><p>The Doctor awoke the next morning feeling a lot better than he had done recently. He put it down to getting a good night's sleep. Thankfully without any dreamsnightmares. He also felt a lot happier than he had done, he didn't feel the need to drink to make himself feel better. However it was still only morning, so that could all change by afternoon.

Once he was fully awake, the Doctor sat up in bed and looked for the light on his bedside table. He turned it on and saw that on one of the pieces of paper was a note. He picked it up and read it.

'_Please let Jack, Martha and Donna help you.'_

The Doctor looked confused. Who had left this? The Doctor looked around his room, trying to see any sign of anyone (or anything thing) that could give him a clue to who had left the note. The Doctor looked around his room until his eyes settled on the end of his bed, where a small rose-red butterfly sat looking at him. The Doctor continued to look at it as it flew onto his lap.

"You left this, didn't you?" The butterfly nodded and the Doctor was taken aback. "Who are you, and why are you following me?" The butterfly just looked at him. "Come on tell me, or write a note telling me, however you communicate." The Doctor was starting to get annoyed with the small creature on his lap. He just wanted to know who or what is was and why it was following him. "Please tell me, this is the third time I've seen you now." The Doctor lowered his voice to a more comfortable level.

The butterfly looked at the piece of paper that the Doctor was holding. He looked at it. A new note had appeared.

'_I can't tell you who I am.'_

"Why?"

'_It's complicated.'_

"That sounds like something Rose would have said."

'_She misses you.'_

"How, she's not here."

'_Yes she is, just not in human form.'_

"How do you mean? Like a ghost?"

'_Not quite.'_

"Then how?"

'_Think about it when you're back to your normal self.'_

The Doctor couldn't believe that he was talking to a butterfly. The world had suddenly become a much stranger place.

"Can you tell me how you know me?"

'_No.'_

"It's complicated, isn't it?"

'_Yeah,'_

"OK, guess I'll just have to figure out who you are. I'm gonna go now, why don't you flutter off somewhere?" The Doctor got out of bed and the butterfly flew off his lap. He looked at the paper for the butterfly's response.

'_Can't I stay with you?'_

"Why?"

'_Because I'm all alone.'_

"So am I, all right then. Is there another way to communicate other than this?" the Doctor held up the paper.

'_I've always wanted to try telepathy.'_

"A telepathic butterfly, whatever next?" The Doctor laughed. It felt good, he hadn't laughed in so long. Maybe he was starting to recover. There was something about this butterfly that reminded him of Rose and how she used to act around him.

"_Yeah, whatever next?"_The Doctor had heard that, he looked down at the paper and found no message. He smiled at the butterfly. Its voice was feminine and had a musical sound to it, with a hint of Rose's voice in it, which made the Doctor think more of Rose.

"_Let's go," _The Doctor sent back. He and the butterfly walked out of the bedroom and into the kitchen where the others were.

"Morning," the Doctor said as he walked in. The butterfly flew over to Jack and landed on his shoulder.

"Morning, hey how did this little thing get in?" The butterfly looked at him and Jack failed to notice.

"Dunno, I found her at the end of my bed this morning." The Doctor said. He grabbed a banana and sat down. The butterfly flew onto the banana and tried to take a bite.

"Hey," he said and shooed it off.

"You seem happier this morning." Martha said to him.

"I feel it too. Dunno why, I think I had a goodnight's sleep." The Doctor told them.

"You look a bit better as well." Donna told him.

"Feel it,"

"How come this butterfly is all over you?" Martha asked.

"Dunno she said that she knows me."

"She said?"

"Yep,"

"She's just a butterfly," Donna told him. The butterfly flew onto the table in front of Donna and gave her a stern look. Not that Donna noticed.

"I think you've annoyed her." The Doctor looked at the butterfly on the table.

"How does she speak?"

"Well first of all, she left notes. Yesterday she wrote them in the ground and this morning I found one on paper. Must be some sort of magic. And now I can communicate with her using telepathy." The Doctor told them.

"Right, not your common butterfly then?"

"No,"

They ate in silence for a while. The butterfly flew around the kitchen and occasionally she would land on the Doctor and Jack and fly off again.

"She seems fond of you two." Donna noticed.

"_I know them, that's why."_

"Whoa that was weird."

"What was?"

"She just spoke. Didn't you hear her?" Donna asked. The others shook their heads.

"Telepathy Donna, she was speaking to you inside your head." The Doctor told her. "What did she say?"

"She said that she knows the two of you."

"How does she know me?" Jack asked. "We've gathered that she knows the Doctor, but how does she know me?"

"_It's complicated." _The butterfly told Jack.

"That's what they all say." He said back to her.

"She told you it was complicated, didn't she?" The Doctor asked.

"Yeah,"

"Said the same to me. Oh and don't ask her who she is, you'll get the same response. Had a good chat with her this morning." The Doctor replied, he put his banana skin in the bin and headed for the door.

"Where are you going?" Donna asked him.

"I'm going to go out." The Doctor replied.

"All right, just don't try and kill yourself."

"I won't, I'm not in that kind of mood today." The Doctor told them. He left the kitchen and walked down the corridor towards his room to get dressed. The butterfly followed him.

Jack, Donna and Martha watched him and the butterfly leave. All wondering the same thing: Who was that butterfly?

...

The Doctor entered his room and grabbed his clothes before heading into the bathroom. The butterfly followed him, but as the Doctor got to the door he looked back at her with one eyebrow raised.

"No, you cannot come in. Wait here." He told her.

"_But,"_

"But nothing, you are not coming in." The Doctor smiled at her before closing the door, leaving the butterfly on her own. She flew around the room before settling on the bed and waited for the Doctor to return.

She didn't know how long she had been waiting for when the Doctor came back out. He was dressed in his normal clothes and his hair was still damp from the shower. He sat on his bed and the butterfly flew onto his head as he grabbed his shoes and put them on.

When he was done the Doctor left his room, the butterfly in tow and walked down to the console room and set the controls for the country side.

When they had landed the Doctor grabbed his coat and left the TARDIS. When he got out side he put on his coat and the butterfly sat on his shoulder. It was a bright day and it was fairly warm. The Doctor saw a bench over on the hill, walked over and sat down. The butterfly sat on the bench beside him.

The view was fantastic. The Doctor wasn't sure where they had landed but he didn't care. There wasn't anything bad going on, he didn't feel bad or upset or anything like that. He felt content and happy for the first time in months. The thing that pondered on the Doctor's mind was how long it was going to last. But he was going to enjoy it while he could.

"Beautiful, isn't it?" The Doctor said.

"_Yeah, makes you forget all of your troubles." _The Butterfly replied.

"Not all of them." The Doctor sounded sad and lonely now. His hearts dropped as he saw a couple walking in the distance holding hands and laughing. It reminded him of him and Rose and how they used to be before she died. He continued to look at them and it was only when he felt tears form in his eyes that she turned away. The butterfly looked at him and then where he had been looking. She too felt upset and she felt her own heart drop. She then looked back at the Doctor who was looking down at the ground, tears falling from his eyes.

"_Are you OK?" _The butterfly asked him.

"No, I miss her."

"_I didn't know she meant so much to you."_

"If you'd have met her, then you would have seen how beautiful she was and how much she loved life. I miss her more than anything. I wish I could let go, but I can't. I don't think I ever will." The Doctor told her.

"_Nothing lasts forever, Doctor. It all comes to an end. Everything has it's time. Remember what Sarah-Jane said?" _The Doctor looked at the butterfly.

"How do you know about that?" The Doctor stood up and looked at her. "How do you know what she said? You weren't there!"

"_It doesn't matter how I know. All that matters is what she said." _The butterfly replied.

"No it does matter how you know, it matters to me. I want to know who you are and what you're doing here." The Doctor thundered at the butterfly.

"_I know because I was there!" _The butterfly bit back.

"How were you there? I didn't see you."

"_You still haven't worked out who I am yet, have you? I would have thought that was obvious, but apparently I was wrong." _The butterfly flew off leaving the Doctor on his own.

"No wait, come back. Don't go!" The Doctor called after her, but she was too far away. The Doctor sat back down and cried.

He didn't know how long he had been there, but he soon felt tired and so he lie down on the bench and fell asleep. He dreamt of the butterfly and he dreamt of Rose...

_The Doctor was standing in a field along with Rose's ghost. She was still the most beautiful girl he had ever seen, even if she was dead._

"_I miss you, Rose." The Doctor told her._

"_I know, I'm sorry." Rose told him._

"_Can't you come back?" The Doctor asked her, the ghost shook her head._

"_You know that that's impossible." _

"_Why did you have to go?"_

"_Because it was my time to."_

"_You were too young."_

"_Maybe, but maybe that was my fate from the moment I was born. Maybe I was always meant to die young."_

"_No, no-one is born to die young." The Doctor told her._

"_There's nothing you could have done." Rose told him._

"_But if I had seen that you were getting ill, then I could have done something." The Doctor told her._

"_We had this conversation the day I died Doctor, let's not go through it again." Rose told him smiling. The Doctor tried to smile back. "I've been watching over you, Doctor. You've changed." Rose told him, "You're not the same man I love." _

"_I know I've changed, but I can't help it. I'm still grieving." _

"_There must be other ways to grieve. Getting drunk every night and trying to throw yourself into the Thames aren't the best ways." _

"_I have depression apparently." The Doctor admitted._

"_You were all right today though."_

"_Yeah, today, but what about tomorrow, or the day after. I could be trying to throw myself off a cliff." The Doctor told her._

"_Then control yourself. I'm not always going to be there trying to save you." Rose told him._

"_You weren't there last time."_

"_Yes I was, I saved you. If it wasn't for me, then you wouldn't be here."_

"_I thought it was that butterfly that saved me?"_

"_You still don't have it, do you?"_

"_What?"_

"_Haven't you worked it out yet?"_

"_No,"_

"_Doctor, that butterfly knows both you and Jack, right?" The Doctor nodded. "She knows what Sarah-Jane said that day in the school. Doctor you said yourself that she reminds you of me. And you missed her last message at the Thames. She wrote down, 'I love you'. Who would say that? Who knows both you and Jack? Doctor, think about it, please for me. I don't want to tell you, I want you to work it out for yourself." Rose told him. She began to fade._

"_Rose, don't go, please don't leave me." The Doctor told her._

"_I'm not leaving you, Doctor, I'm always with you." Rose was completely gone now and in her place was the rose-red butterfly that had been following him around..._

The Doctor awoke with a start, almost falling off the bench. He had it; he knew who the butterfly was now. He shot up and looked around for any sign of her, but couldn't see anything.

"Butterfly, where are you? I'm sorry; I didn't mean to shout at you. I know who you are!" The Doctor called. "Rose, where are you?"

* * *

><p><em><strong>Finally he knows who the butterfly is! Hope you liked that one!<strong>_

_**And, by the way, if you haven't already guessed, the chapter titles are lyrics from the song. It's hard trying to find lyrics that fit with each chapter, but I think I'm doing all right! XD**_

_**OAO**_


	6. A lover a friend

The Doctor sat back down on the bench and put his head in his hands, thinking about what had happened to him over the last few days. How was this happening? The Doctor knew better than anyone that you can never be prepared for what the universe may throw at you.

He continued to sit and think. How had he not known it was Rose who had saved him that day at the Thames? He wasn't thinking straight that was why and he knew it. All the signs had been there since the first day he had met her, 3 days after Rose's death. She had known both him and Jack, which was probably one of the biggest clues.

The thing that horrified him was that Rose had seen him nearly kill himself and drink himself silly. He would never have let her seen him like that if he had known. But he felt happier knowing that Rose had been with him all that time, even though he hadn't known it. She had never truly left him. But how had she become a butterfly? That was the big question. And why a butterfly? Why couldn't she just come back as herself?

Suddenly, the Doctor felt something light land on his shoulder. He looked up and looked at his shoulder. There sat the butterfly the Doctor now knew as Rose. She didn't say anything; she just sat there looking at him as if she wanted him to make the first move. It wouldn't be the first time she had done that.

"Rose..." The Doctor breathed.

"_Hi," _

"Is it really you or is this all a big mix-up?" The Doctor asked, he couldn't believe that this was happening.

"_It's really me, Doctor. Just not the way you remember me." _Rose told him. The Doctor didn't really know what to say. Every since Rose had died, the Doctor had wanted nothing more than to be able to talk to her again, to tell her how much he loved her and how much he missed her. But now she was here with him once again, the Doctor just didn't know what to say. Well, he knew what he wanted to say, but he didn't know how to say it.

"I missed you." The Doctor eventually told her.

"_I missed you, too." _

"I don't know what to say." The Doctor told her. Rose laughed. It was like they were reliving the moment they spent on the beach in the Parallel world only a few years ago. Only this time it was the Doctor who was crying, not her.

"_You've still Martha, Donna and Jack then?"_ Rose said just like the Doctor had done a few years back.

"Hey, let's not relive the day on that beach." The Doctor told her with a laugh.

"_OK," _Rose laughed to.

"How've you been?" The Doctor asked.

"_OK, I guess. I'm still getting used to being a butterfly and not a human." _Rose said.

"Yeah, about that. How did you get to be a butterfly?" The Doctor asked her.

"_When I died, something happened. I woke up in a place that was completely white. I'm not sure where I was, but my dad was there and he told me that I couldn't crossover until I had done something. He told me that I had to help you move on before I could return to where I belong. Dad told me about what you were doing to yourself and that if I didn't do something soon, you would probably land up killing yourself. I couldn't let you do that, so I said I would do it. He then told me that when I'm finished here I have to go back with him." _Rose told the Doctor. The Doctor looked at her.

"Rose..."

"_I know what you're going to say and I need you to know that I don't blame you what you did. If it were me, I would have done the same thing to myself. So don't apologise." _Rose told him.

"But, still. I should have never made you have to come back." The Doctor told her.

"_It doesn't matter. I would have done anything to see you just one last time. I really missed you, as you did me." _Rose said.

"I missed you too. Rose, how long do you think you're going to have to stay now?" The Doctor asked her. He didn't want her to leave, but at the same time he didn't want her to have to look after him every day until he got better. She had done enough for him already. It was time for her to have her freedom.

"_I'll probably see the light to crossover within the month, but I'm not sure really. You seem to be getting better quicker than I thought." _Rose admitted.

"So, we've got about a month together. We can do a lot together in that time. Is there any way you can change back into your human self?" The Doctor asked her, wanting the answer to be 'yes', but had a gut feeling that the answer was 'no'.

"_I'm sorry, Doctor, but I can't. Not until I crossover." _The Doctor felt his hearts sink, even though he knew that was the answer he was going to receive.

"I suspected that was what you were going to say, or at least something along the lines of what I suspected." The Doctor told her.

"_If you manage to find a way then tell me. I'd love to be myself again." _Rose told him.

"I promise if I find something I will let you know. But I don't think I will be able to find anything for you. But you being a butterfly is better than you not being here at all." The Doctor told her.

"_I guess, but it would be nice to be over 5 foot again." _The Doctor and Rose shared a laugh together.

"Tell you what; shall we go for a walk? Or in your case fly?" The Doctor asked her. "I think it's best that we get as much alone time as possible." The Doctor said.

"_Doctor, what are you implying there? Remember I'm a butterfly!" _Rose laughed. The Doctor looked at her confused and then he got it.

"Oh...no...No, I wasn't implying that. Rose, why would you think that?" The Doctor asked her with a fake horrified look on his face. Rose just laughed. The Doctor couldn't take it any longer, he too burst out laughing.

The two of them walked alone the path, laughing. All the time Rose felt sad because she knew that she didn't have as long as she wanted with the Doctor now. He was getting better faster than she had thought.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Long time no see, eh? Hope you liked that. Please review! I love hearing from you! XD I'll try and update as soon as I can, but I have no idea when that'll be. And I have no idea where to go with this. I know how I want to end it, but I don't know what to put in the middle. Any ideas I could borrow, will help me so much! XD<strong>_

_**OAO**_

_**MarkieXD **_


	7. The hours we'd spend just doing nothing

The two of the made their way around the place they had landed in. It was while they were doing that, that the Doctor realised how beautiful this place really was. There were flowers everywhere and the sky was a bright blue. It felt summery. I was as if they had landed in a beautiful dream, there wasn't a thing that could go wrong.

On their way around, the Doctor and Rose talked about their past-just the happy moments that they have shared together. It was then that they realised how special their time together had been and how much they really needed each other. The Doctor knew that when the time came and Rose had to go, he would have to stay strong. It wasn't fair if she had to stay behind and look after him, making sure that he didn't do something stupid like trying to kill himself by jumping into the Thames.

Rose didn't want to leave, no matter how much she wanted to see her dad again; she didn't want to leave the man she completely adored, the man who had made her life better by showing her that there was other ways to live your life. What she had said to her mum and Mickey all those years ago when the Doctor had sent her back to Earth to save her before he regenerated, was still true now. It wasn't about seeing all the aliens; it was about living a better life. She didn't want to leave her life that she had made something out of behind. It wasn't fair.

Rose felt tears well up in her eyes. It was times like this where she was glad she was a butterfly and not a human, it meant that the Doctor couldn't see her tears very well. But she started flying slower and the Doctor then sensed that something was not right.

"Rose, what's the matter?" He walked back over to her and looked at her small and delicate form.

"_Nothing, I just don't want to go back. I want to stay here with you and have everything back to the way it used to be." _Rose told him.

The Doctor continued to look at her and so desperately wanted to hug her, but he knew he couldn't.

"Oh, Rose. I want you to stay too, but you have to go back. You can't stay here forever. Nothing's forever is it?" The Doctor told her.

"_I don't care; there must be something we can do." _The Doctor could hear the tears in Rose's voice, he wanted to do something, but he couldn't.

"Rose, you're dead, there's nothing I can do." The Doctor told her.

"_I should have told you when I started getting ill. We wouldn't be in this position now and we would be walking hand-in-hand around here with smiles upon our faces and I wouldn't be DEAD!" _Rose shouted the last word and flew off into the distance again. The Doctor ran after her, he needed her to know that this wasn't her fault and that they would eventually see each other again.

"Rose, wait, come back! It's not your fault you can't blame yourself. We spoke about this before." The Doctor shouted. He saw Rose turn back around and hovered where she was.

"_That doesn't change anything. I know you think it wasn't my fault and I know we both blame ourselves, but you have _nothing_ to blame yourself for."_

"How about we stop blaming ourselves and just say that it was no-one's fault, because maybe it was." The Doctor told her.

"_Believe what you want. It was still my fault." _

"Rose listen, I don't want to have this conversation again. What happened happened. There was nothing either of us could have done. Rose, please, stops blaming you it's not doing anyone any favours." The Doctor said. Rose didn't reply. Instead, she flew back to the Doctor and landed on his shoulder. She didn't say anything, but she kept her small head down and didn't look the Doctor in the eye at all.

"Tell you what, why don't we go back to the TARDIS and go around London for bit." The Doctor suggested.

"_Can't we just stay in the TARDIS?" _Rose asked.

"OK, if you want. Come on then."

The two of them went back into the TARDIS and into the living room where the others were. The Doctor felt happier than he had for a while, due to the fact that Rose was here with him. He knew that he had thought this before, but he didn't care, it was still true. He couldn't wait to tell everyone else, especially Jack, who missed her just as much as he did- well maybe not quite like the Doctor did, but he still missed her a lot.

"Hey, you all right?" Donna asked as they entered the room.

"Yep," the Doctor replied in the way he would normally do when he was happy.

"You seem happier than you did this morning." Martha said.

"I am," the Doctor told them. "I don't think that I'm going to try and kill myself for a while now. Hopefully I won't get that urge again."

"Good," Jack told him.

"Yep, I've finally figured out who this one is." The Doctor pointed to the butterfly that was now sitting on Jack's head.

"Yeah? Who is she then?" Donna asked.

The Doctor looked at the butterfly, telling her that she should tell them and not him. The butterfly flew off of Jack's head and flew onto the Doctor's.

"_It's me, Rose."_ Rose spoke to the three of them and they looked up at her on the Doctor's head.

"How?" Jack asked, it wasn't like him to be speechless at all, but he was. First time for everything, right?

"_Well, when I died, I came back as a butterfly." _Rose told them. The three of them just looked confused. Rose sighed and flew onto the table in front of them as the Doctor sat on the sofa with everyone and Rose began to tell Martha, Donna and Jack what she had told the Doctor not that long ago.

The three of them listened carefully to what Rose was telling them. The Doctor even decided to listen as well, he didn't have anything else to do and besides he wanted to make sure he hadn't missed anything the first time Rose had told her story.

Once all the story telling was done, Rose and the Doctor left the living room and went into the Doctor's room. Martha looked at her two friends that were still in the living room.

"Is this really happening or is this some kind of joke?" Martha asked.

"I don't think so, but at least the Doctor's happy." Donna said.

"Yeah, but the thing is they don't have long together, as soon as the Doctor's completely better Rose has to go. That's what she told us." Jack said. He didn't want Rose to go, he knew that the Doctor may not be able to cope, but then again maybe he would be able to cope. The good thing was he had been given some more time with the woman he loved, even if she was just a butterfly.

"Yeah, but a little more time together is better than none at all." Martha told him.

"I know, but I'm just worried about the Doctor though." Jack told him. "I'm gonna go and see what they're up to, you can never be too sure with them." Jack looked at them with a glint in his eye that told the girls exactly what he was thinking.

"Jack, you do realise that Rose is a butterfly, there's no way that they would be doing _that_." Donna told him.

"Well, like I said, y'never know with those two." Jack smiled at them before heading down to the Doctor's bedroom.

"Shall we go with him?" Donna asked.

"In a bit maybe, I think it might be best to leave the three of them alone for a little while, we'll go in soon though." Martha told Donna, Donna nodded and the two of them went to get a drink.

~...~

Inside the Doctor's room, the Doctor and Rose were looking through a photo album which Rose had spotted under the Doctor's bed. All the pictures were of their adventures together from day one. Rose couldn't help but laugh at one photo of the Doctor that she had taken without him knowing. It was just after he had regenerated and he was trying to cook their evening meal, except he had burnt most of it and was trying to put the fire in the oven out.

There was a knock at the door and Jack entered the room a second later. He saw the Doctor and Rose in the bed looking at the photo album. He smiled at them and sat down next to the Doctor being careful not to sit on Rose who was in between the two of them.

"So, found any ones to laugh at yet?" Jack asks his tone humorous.

"_I found one with the Doctor trying to put out the oven."_ Rose said.

"Ha, did he burn the evening meal?" Rose nodded and the Doctor looked back at the album, he had gone a shade of pink which made Jack and Rose laugh.

"Don't worry, Doctor, I'm sure there's a funny one of Rose." Jack told him. Jack took the album and looked through the photos. He stopped after a bit and laughed at a picture, turning the book away from the Doctor and Rose as he laughed.

The Doctor and Rose looked at him and Rose flew nearer so she could look, but Jack moved the book away before she could get a look at the photo.

"_Jack, can we have a look please?" _Rose asked. Jack passed the book to the Doctor and the Doctor looked at it and burst out laughing. He hid the picture from Rose for a bit. She flew over to him and tried to look stern, but the Doctor just fell about laughing harder.

"_All right, what is it? Can I look now? Please?"_ Rose asked. The Doctor nodded, still giggling and put the book down on the bed so Rose could see. As soon as she had looked at it she turned away, not wanting to look again. The picture was of her in the morning still asleep in bed, her hair a mess on the pillow and her teddy bear in her arms. That wasn't what had been so funny though, what was funny was that Rose was now wearing a drawn-on moustache that Jack had so kindly drawn on during the course of the night. Rose could remember wanting to kill him when she had woken up that morning. The Doctor hadn't known anything about it, jack had sworn Rose to secrecy, but now the secret was out and the Doctor found it funny, knowing that in his last incarnation, when this photo had been taken, he probably wouldn't have found this as funny. Maybe Jack had rubbed off on him during his time of the TARDIS the first time.

The Doctor and Jack looked at Rose who was obviously slightly annoyed about the photo.

"Lighten up Rose, it's only a photo." The Doctor told her.

"_Yes, but it's embarrassing? Can I kill Jack now that he's immortal, please?" _Rose said.

"No you bloody well cannot!" Jack told her.

"_Why?" _

"Because I don't really fancy dying, thank you very much." Jack said.

"_Damn,"_

The Doctor just laughed.

~...~

A little while later Martha and Donna came in and the five of them laughed at pictures and talked for hours until it was time for bed. Martha, Donna and Jack left the Doctor and Rose in the Doctor's room and the Doctor smiled at Rose before getting ready for bed. He got into his bed and Rose flew and lay down on his chest.

The two of them spoke for a while before sleep eventually took over them both.

It was like everything was back to how it should have been, but the Doctor knew that it wasn't going to last. Everyone knew that, eventually Rose would have to go again and he would be on his own once more. Well, he would feel that way, but he knew that he would be able to cope this time.

~...~

_**So there we have a happy chapter! One where you don't need a box of tissues by your side. XD**_

_**See ya soon! And if anyone has ideas I really need them at the moment! XD**_

_**OAO**_

_**MarkieXD**_


	8. All that I ever need

The next morning, when the Doctor awoke, Rose was still fast asleep on his chest. He didn't want to move in case he woke her, but he wanted to start the day so they had more time together. Every second that went by meant that they had less time together and the Doctor wanted to make the most of the time they had together. If they could not sleep and had enough energy to go a whole month- or however long they had left- without rest, then the Doctor would do that if it meant that he was with Rose for longer. He would miss her when she was gone again, but at least this time he would be able to look after himself and be happy, just like Rose wanted him to. He was going to do it for her.

The Doctor looked down at the sleeping butterfly that was Rose. He smiled, it wasn't everyday you awoke to find a butterfly asleep on your chest, and it was even rarer that that butterfly was the person you cared about more than the universe itself, though the Doctor had never said that to her, he couldn't bring himself to tell her how he felt. But he was going to have to pluck up the courage soon before he wasted his very last chance to tell her. If he didn't, he would never get another chance. He had to tell her soon before it was too late!

A few minutes later, Rose began to move and she stood up at her full height and looked at the Doctor.

"Morning," the Doctor smiled at her.

"_Morning,"_ Rose said.

"You OK?" The Doctor asked, he had detected a hint of sadness in Rose's voice and that was the last thing he wanted. He had always hated to see Rose sad.

"_I'm just realising that we really don't have long together and I don't want to leave you again. I want to stay with you, but I can't." _Rose told him.

"I know, but we will see each other again, even though that may be a long time." The Doctor said.

"_But I don't want to wait. I can't wait for that and it means you will be dead too and the universe will be at risk."_

"That doesn't matter, there'll be someone out there saving the universe. Jack will do it, he can't die remember." The Doctor said, hoping that that would cheer Rose up a little, but it didn't help in the slightest.

"_I'll miss talking to you every day, but I will be able to send little signs to you, telling you that I'm still there with you wherever you are."_ Rose said.

"What like, pulling a leaver here and there?" The Doctor smiled.

"_Something likes that. But whatever I do, I will make sure you know it's me."_ The Doctor smiled at her again and if he could hug her he would have done by now.

"So, anyway, what do you want to do today?" The Doctor asked.

"_How about we go back to some of the places we've been that we liked?" _Rose suggested. _"We don't have to stay very long at each one, but I would like to see the view of the different planets."_

"OK then, hold on for a bit, I need to get dressed. Be right back." The Doctor got out of bed as Rose flew off of him. He then grabbed his clothes and headed for the bathroom. Rose sat on the bed and waited for the Doctor to return, hoping that he wouldn't take too long, she knew what he was like though. Sometimes he would as he would be a minute, but he was in there for over an hour. Rose rolled her eyes: men, or was it just the Doctor? Maybe she'll never know...

The Doctor came out of the bathroom in record time! ONLY 30 MINUTES! Rose flew up to him and sat on his shoulder. The two of them went into the kitchen to grab breakfast.

As usual, Martha, Donna and Jack were already in the kitchen eating. The Doctor grabbed a bowl and poured some cereal and milk into a bowl before grabbing a spoon and sitting down.

Rose flew onto the table and sat in the middle.

Donna looked at Rose and smiled, it was then she realised how weird this was. Even though she had only met Rose once, she had got to know her in her human form. So finding out that this butterfly that had almost been stalking the Doctor was Rose, had shocked her just a wee bit. It was just...odd.

"So what are you doing today?" Jack asked with a mouthful of food in his mouth.

"_Jack, don't be rude! Don't talk with your mouth full!" _Rose told him.

"Hey, even though she's a butterfly she hasn't changed at all, has she?" Jack said to the Doctor who then laughed.

Rose gave Jack and the Doctor and death glare.

"All right, all right, keep your wings on!" Jack put his arms up in a surrender and everyone at the table (except Rose that was) burst into fits of laughter. Rose didn't find it remotely funny and continued to give everyone her death glare. They only laughed harder, because, they had to admit, a death glare coming from a butterfly was pretty funny, even if the butterfly happened to be their friend.

~...~

When they had finished breakfast, Jack asked his question again and the Doctor told him that he and Rose were planning on going to a few places they had been in the past that they had always wanted to go back to, but had never had the chance. Well, the Doctor had gone back to New Earth once, but Rose had only been once, and for the majority of that she had been under the influence of Cassandra.

The Doctor and Rose told the others that they would be in and out of the TARDIS all day and that they would be taking off and landing a lot too. So, the Doctor told them, that unless they wanted to feel the TARDIS moving all day long, they should go further into the TARDIS where the feel of the ship moves weren't as strong. The three of them had agreed had said good bye to the two of them before walking down the TARDIS corridors and deep into the TARDIS. That just left the Doctor and Rose standing in the console room, the Doctor's hand on the final leaver that would send them away to their first place that they had wanted to revisit for some time now.

The Doctor threw the switch and they were off. The ride was bumpy and Rose had to keep flapping her wings just to stay where she was. The Doctor had to hold onto the rail to stop himself falling over.

"_Where are we going first Doctor?" _Rose asked.

"Err...not sure, Rose, but wherever we're going its one hell of a bumpy path." The Doctor told her. Rose didn't reply and just concentrated on staying where she was and not falling somewhere where she could get hurt. Not that if she did get hurt it would make a lot of difference. Rose wasn't even sure she could feel pain anymore as she was dead. If she could feel pain, wouldn't that mean she was alive?

The TARDIS landed with a bump and Rose was ripped away from her thoughts. The Doctor stood up after having fallen to the floor mid-flight.

"You OK?" He asked Rose and she flew over to him.

"_Yeah, you?" _

"Been better." The Doctor told her. Rose laughed and the two of them walked out of the TARDIS and out into the open air.

~...~

The air was fresh and sweet when they first made their way outside of the TARDIS. The Doctor closed the door behind them and Rose turned to look at him.

"_We're on New Earth, aren't we? I can smell the apple grass." _Rose looked around the sight; it wasn't the same as the last time they had been here. Either they were in a completely different place or the hospital that had been here the last time they had come had been taken down. "_However, I don't think we've landed in the same spot." _

"No, we haven't. I looked on the scanner before we came out and I believe we are in New England- the country, not the place in America, which would be called New New England. And we're not there; we're in the future of your England. I think we're in...actually, I don't know where we are to be honest. But I hazard a guess and say that we're in..."

"_Doctor, shut up." _Rose told him.

"Ah, sorry, was I rambling again?"

"_Yes, you were, Doctor." _Rose told him.

"Sorry,"

"_Don't worry, I've missed it." _

"I've missed you telling me to shut up. Anyway, what do you want to do now that we're here?" The Doctor asked her.

"_I don't mind, how about we just go for a little walk? I've always liked the smell of apple grass."_ Rose told him. The Doctor smiled at her.

"OK, then. Come on." The Doctor led them down the road. It was a field and there were flowers everywhere, they hadn't noticed when they first landed, but life was full of nice surprises. Rose had never realised how lucky she was that she knew the Doctor and that she was able to come to places like this. Other people would never be able to dream up something like this. It was beyond dreams.

They walked and walked, (well in Rose's case she flew and flew), until they came to a spot of land where the grass was greener than Rose had ever seen in her life.

"How about we sit here for a while?" The Doctor said his voice low and calm, which made Rose fall in love with him more.

Rose just nodded.

The Doctor took off his coat and lay it down on the grass before sitting down. Rose found a space on his coat and settled down on it too. The Doctor looked at her, smiling.

"Perfect, isn't it?" The Doctor asked as he looked around at where they had come.

"_It sure is," _Rose told him.

"I suppose when you have to go, you can come here whenever you want, there'll be nothing to stop you." The Doctor told her, his voice now full of sadness. His eyes showed how he was feeling too.

"_Doctor, let's not remind ourselves of what's to come. Let's just enjoy what we have right here, right now. Can you do that? For me?" _Rose said. The Doctor nodded, though his expression was still sad.

"So," the Doctor swallowed and tried liven up a bit, but Rose could still here sadness within his voice, something that she guessed might take a while to leave. She hated the fact that she was doing this to him, that she was the reason he was sad. She hated it! "What do you want to do?"

"_Just sit here and talk."_ Rose told him.

"What about?"

"_How about you tell me more of Gallifrey. You never told me what it was like." _Rose said, but as soon as she saw the Doctor's face, she realised that it probably wasn't the best subject to bring up. _"You don't have to if you don't want to; I'm not going to force you."_ Rose said hurriedly.

"No, it's all right. I should tell you. I should've told you before, but I never got around to it." The Doctor told her.

Rose flew up onto the Doctor's chest and faced him, ready to listen. The Doctor gave a small smile to her and began to tell her about his home planet:

"Gallifrey was the most beautiful planet that I had ever seen. It had a burnt orange sky and the twin suns just lit up the sky and gave it a magical feel. The trees were sliver and they glistened in the sun light all day. The grass was soft, not at all like the grass on Earth. I used to play in it all through the day with my friend Koschei- who later became my enemy, but that's a long story which we don't have time for.

"It was a peaceful planet before the war, and rules were strict, so I normally broke them, but that's me all over really." Rose laughed at that, she could see the Doctor getting told off by another Time Lord for doing something wrong. "Anyway, when the war broke out, Gallifrey changed. It felt darker, like the suns didn't want to shine as brightly as they had done when I was a child, and the beautiful silver trees were broken. It became a wreck. Gallifrey became a different place. It was horrible. I remember standing by my house, just looking at what damage had been caused. There was fire and wreckage and bodies and broken Daleks everywhere. If you imagine the damage done by World War One and World War Two, put them together and times it by ten, that was what Gallifrey looked like at the height of the war. The once beautiful shinning planet had become a place where the suns never shone and people lost lives unnecessarily." The Doctor's voice broke at the end of his tale and Rose looked at him, sorrow in her butterfly eyes.

"_You don't need to tell me anything else. I don't want you to get too upset." _Rose said.

"Thanks, tell you what. I'm going to take you to see where Gallifrey once stood. I've never taken anyone to see it before, but you've always been special to me and so I think you deserve to see where I lived before I met you." The Doctor told her.

"_I'd like that."_ Rose told him. The two of them smiled at each other and for the rest of the day they lay on the ground and looked at the view of New Earth. They watched as the sun set behind the hills of New England. It was one of the most beautiful sights both the Doctor and Rose had seen in their lives.

~...~

_**2,394 words this chapter was! It's more now obviously, but the chapter itself over 2,000 words. God I am proud of myself! Wahoo! I've written longer, but considering I had no idea where to go with this before I think that's pretty good going.**_

_**Thank you to everyone who has given me ideas, you have helped a LOT. **_

_**I don't think this story has many other chapters left to go really, but I think it's going to be at least two, but we'll see how it goes. I'm going to do a one-shot set after this story is finished about how the Doctor is coping. **_

_**Please review!**_

_**OAO**_

_**MarkieXD**_


	9. Hope you heal the fear and soul

_**YAY at the big FIVE OH! Thank you guys for reviewing! I'm aiming to beat 81 my highest reviews so far! XD Anyway, thank you so much! On with the chapter! XD**_

_**~...~**_

After a long day sitting and doing next to nothing, the Doctor and Rose decided to call it a day. They had planned to do more than one trip that day, but they had had such a good time on New Earth that they had stayed there for the whole day.

As they made their way back to the TARDIS, Rose flew onto the Doctor's shoulder and settled down. The Doctor looked at her and smiled, like he always did when he landed on his shoulder. He had to admit, it was a weird feeling, having one of your best friends sit on your shoulder. But then again it wasn't exactly normal for your best friend to be a butterfly, but there you go.

The Doctor took his key out of pocket and unlocked the door letting them both in. When they were inside, the Doctor closed the door and Rose flew off down the corridor.

"Where are you going?" The Doctor asked her.

Rose turned around and looked at the Doctor. _"I'm going to my room. I've been here for a while now, but I haven't yet been back in my old room."_ She told him. The Doctor nodded.

"OK, you fly ahead, I'll walk behind you." The Doctor said. Rose smiled and turned back round before flying down the corridor. The Doctor followed her shaking his head. His life had got a lot weirder, but the good thing was that he was happy.

On the way down the corridor, the Doctor met Donna who was having a conversation with Rose who was sitting on her hand. Well, the Doctor assumed they were having a conversation, he couldn't hear Rose at all. He hoped they were talking to each other and Donna was not talking to herself. That would just be weird.

"Hey, Doctor, Rose was just telling me what you have been up to today." Donna told him. The Doctor nodded.

"Good, that gets me out of having to say it." The Doctor smiled again and Rose turned to look at him.

"_I was also telling Donna that you snore." _Rose said.

"Hey, I do not!" The Doctor protested.

"_You do, when you were asleep last night all I could hear was you snoring." _Rose smiled at him and Donna laughed. Rose was obviously talking to the two of them.

"I do not snore Miss Tyler! Thank you very much!" The Doctor told her.

"_Yes, you do! Anyway," _Rose turned to Donna who was still in fits of laughter. "_I'll see you later Donna. I want to go and see my room with the Doctor." _Rose told her. Donna nodded and Rose flew off of Donna's hand and onto the Doctor's.

"OK, see you later then." Donna waved as the Doctor and Rose made their way down the corridor to Rose's old room. Donna then made her way down to the living room, laughing all the way at what Rose had told her.

~...~

Rose flew into her old room as the Doctor opened the door far enough for her to be able to get through. He then opened the door further so he, too, could walk inside.

"_You haven't moved anything." _Rose said, slightly shocked. _"I thought you would have cleaned it up."_

"I couldn't do that; I couldn't bring myself to do that. I wanted to leave it as you would have." The Doctor told her. Rose turned to look at him and she flew over to him landing on his shoulder.

The Doctor walked over to the bed and sat down. Rose stayed on his shoulder and the two of them didn't say anything for a while. They were both lost in thought.

Then the Doctor spoke:

"How about we go back to the place where we met?" The Doctor asked.

"_Yeah, that's a good idea. Just try not to blow it up this time." _The Doctor laughed at that and Rose joined in after a couple of seconds.

"Come on then, let's go." The Doctor stood up and Rose flew off his shoulder and flew in front of him.

"Guys, we're popping back out. Don't wait up." The Doctor called down the corridor, hoping that Martha, Donna and Jack would hear him. They obviously did as the Doctor and Rose heard Jack's voice from deep within the TARDIS:

"OK,"

Happy that they were ready to go. The Doctor and Rose made their way to the console room and the Doctor began to set the controls for London.

Soon they were off. The Doctor grabbed the side of the console to keep his balance. Why was it that when they always went to London that the ride was at its bumpiest? He looked across at Rose, who was flapping her small wings in an attempt to stop herself from fly all around the TARDIS and causing herself any damage – though, she probably couldn't do herself any damage, she was technically dead.

Finally, after what felt like an age of riding down the time vortex, trying to stay in one place, they landed with a bump. The Doctor fell to the floor and Rose hovered over him as he lay on the floor.

"Y'know, it's at times like this when I wish I was a butterfly as well, or at least something that could fly." The Doctor told her.

"_Yeah, maybe we could swap places then? I would quite like to be human – or something that looks human in your case." _Rose said.

"I know. Anyway, let's get going." The Doctor stood up and grabbed before opening the TARDIS door and watching as Rose flew out. He followed her and shut the door behind him. The two of them looked around at their surroundings. They had landed in an ally way near to the shop that started their life together.

It was slightly dark and the rain poured down heavily. The Doctor looked at the people rushing past with newspapers above their head trying to keep as dry as they could as they ran to find some sort of shelter.

"Right, well, this is interesting." The Doctor said. "How about you sit on my shoulder and try and keep as dry as you can." The Doctor told Rose. Rose did as she was told and flew onto the Doctor's shoulder. She thought about how weird it was going to look that there was a butterfly on a man's shoulder, but she couldn't bring herself to mind about that.

The Doctor walked out into the rain and headed for Henrick's shop. It felt like they were going back in time without physically going back in time. It was a weird feeling. Rose had only passed the shop since she had met the Doctor, but since 2005 she hadn't been inside the shop.

"_It feels weird being here, y'know." _Rose told him.

"I know," The Doctor said. A passerby looked at him strangely as they walked past the Doctor, hearing what he had said. She obviously thought that he was mental and quickly walked away, looking back a couple of times as she did.

"_Maybe telepathy would be better, Doctor?" _Rose laughed.

"_Yeah, I think that might be a good idea." _The Doctor told her.

The two of them continued to make their way towards the shop. The rain was getting heavy now and the Doctor could feel his wet hair plastered on his forehead. His suit and coat were wet through by the time the two of them got inside; he looked like a drowned rat!

"_You all right, Doctor? You look a bit wet there." _Rose couldn't help but laugh at him.

"_Thanks a lot Rose, nice to know you care." _The Doctor replied sarcastically to her sarcasm.

The shop looked exactly the same as when Rose had worked here, though maybe there were one or two changes, due to the fact that it had to be rebuilt after the Doctor blew it up last time he was here. The thing that Rose noticed first was the till where she used to work. The till was still the same make – old and in dire need of an upgrade. The desk was the same colour as well. It was strange that the company hadn't changed much after rebuilding. Maybe they liked it this way.

"_How 'bout you and I go down to the basement where I first took your hand and told you to run?" _The Doctor said.

"_We won't be able to get down there. Staff only." _Rose said.

"_Rose Tyler, I thought you knew me. We're going to use the physic paper to get in. Well I am, you don't really need to." _The Doctor told her with mock shock.

"_Oh yeah, how could I forget?" _

"_Come on then." _The Doctor walked through the shop, trying to find the entrance to the basement. _"Just remind me where it is again." _

Rose laughed and told the Doctor where to go. The Doctor followed her, trying not to look too suspicious.

At the entrance of the basement, a woman eyed him suspiciously.

"Where are you going? You're not allowed down here." She said with her hands on her hips. She reminded the Doctor somewhat of Rose, but with a meaner expression and tied looking eyes.

"Well, you see...Anna," the Doctor read her name tag, "I am from the...basement inspection company and, obviously, I'm here to inspect your...basement." The Doctor could hear Rose in his head laughing her wings off at the Doctor's confession. He tried sending her messages to shut her up, but nothing worked.

The woman – Anna – didn't look convinced in the slightest. She eyed the Doctor, trying to seek the truth in his brown eyes. "Really? Let me see some identification then." She said, still not convinced that the Doctor was who he really said he was.

The Doctor got out his physic paper and showed it to her. Anna looked at it, looking to see if it was in anyway a fake. She seemed happy enough, though and let the Doctor past. Even though she let them past, she still seemed slightly suspicious about the whole thing. The Doctor and Rose too, didn't think that there was such thing as a 'Basement inspection company' and if there was, it would probably be called something entirely different.

Rose flew off the Doctor's shoulder as they entered the basement. She flew just in front of the Doctor so she could get a proper look around. It had been so long since she had been here. It almost felt like coming home – almost. What really felt like coming home was when she first came back to the TARDIS after dying and becoming a butterfly.

"_It feels strange being here, Doctor." _Rose told him.

"_I know, I know. Same here." _The Doctor told her.

"_It almost feels like our time is starting again. Do you know what I mean? I know it doesn't make much sense, but still."_

"_No, I get what you mean, Rose. You're right, it does feel like that. Well, it's hard to say what it feels like, really. But I guess it feels like that." _The Doctor told her.

"_So how long do you think that we have before someone realises we aren't really what the physic paper said that we were?" _Rose asked.

"_Gosh, ages probably, some humans can be so dim a times. Y'know, the physic paper always has worked best on you lot. Never really understood why but considering the likes of some people on this planet, I can now see why." _The Doctor said. _"I'm not trying to be horrible about humans, cos y'know how much I love the lot of ya, but it's the truth." _

"_I'll let you off this time Doctor, but I'm not going to be so nice next time."_ Rose told him. The Doctor could hear the smile in her voice, but took her word for it all the same. She could be pretty scary at times and that was before the whole 'magical butterfly' thing, so God knows what she could do now. Though, the Doctor was sure that Rose wouldn't hurt him: too much.

~...~

The Doctor could've sworn that they had been down here for more than two hours. How, he hadn't a clue. But he guessed it was because they landed up talking to each other about trips that this place had led them to. This place was the beginning of it all. Cat-nuns, gas ghosts, Daleks, Cybermen, Canary Wharf, Bad Wolf Bay, more Daleks, Davros and then the thing that they both hated to bring up: Rose's death. The Doctor had begun to think that if he had never met Rose, she would still be alive. She may be still working here in a dead-end job, but she would be living a life and not living in death as a butterfly. Rose had kept reminding him that if she hadn't had met him, he would be a mess, he wouldn't be the person he was now and that none of this was his fault. For all they knew, Rose couldn't have died on her way home that night that they met if they hadn't had met. So she had told the Doctor that he couldn't keep blaming himself for what happened.

It was a while before the Doctor and Rose made their way back to the ground floor of the shop. Anna was still up there. The Doctor and Rose were sure that she didn't need to stand around all the time. She must have a job to do, surely.

Deciding that there was no need to ask her what she was doing. The Doctor smiled at her as he past with Rose hidden under his coat by his neck.

"No need to worry, everything's fine. Nothing down there." The Doctor smiled at her again. She didn't smile back. The Doctor then walked on and made his way to the exit.

"_What shall we do now?" _The Doctor asked.

"_Go back to the TARDIS, I'm tired. Maybe tomorrow we can go somewhere different." _Rose said. The Doctor nodded and led them back to the TARDIS.

All the way back, Rose kept thinking about how long she had left with the Doctor. And the truth was, she really didn't have long at all. In fact, Rose reckoned that she only had about a couple of weeks left. Soon she would be pulled away to a place without the Doctor. Rose didn't want to dwell on it too much, but the reality of what was inevitably going to happen was coming faster than anyone had thought.

It was only a matter of time...

~...~

_**Sorry for the long-ish wait. I hope it was all right though. All my exams are over now and so I'm a little bit freer now. Hopefully I might finish this during the Easter holidays if I'm not being ill after eating loads of chocolate since I will be trying to get 40 days worth of chocolate into a couple of days...**_

_**Anyway, please review! I can't wait to hear from you and I will get the next chapter up as soon as I can. Once I've thought of two more places to take the Doctor and Rose...any ideas?**_

_**OAO**_

_**Markie! XD**_


	10. Just doing nothing at all

"_Rose."_

Rose woke with a start to the sound of her name being called by someone who sounded a lot like her dad. She knew what it meant if it was her dad. It would mean that she had less than a week left with the Doctor.

It had already been 3 days after she and the Doctor had been back to Henrick's and Rose already knew that she didn't have a lot of time left with him. She looked around until her eyes caught sight of a ghostly figure of her dad stood by the foot of the bed. Rose looked at the Doctor still fast asleep, unaware of anything going on in the real world.

"_Rose, I've come to warn you – "_

"_That, I have less than a week with the Doctor." _Rose finished for him. Pete only nodded._ "I don't want to leave him dad, I can't leave him." _Rose told her dad.

"_I know, but you will still be able to see him, but he won't be able to see you."_

"_How long do I have left?"_

"_About 3 days."_

"_3 days?" _Rose looked at her dad, it wasn't fair, and 3 days wasn't enough. She wanted more – needed more.

"_I'm sorry,"_ Pete didn't say anything else other than that before he faded out of view, leaving Rose feeling like nothing else mattered. She looked at the Doctor, who hadn't moved during the conversation, thinking what she would do without him. She had always known that when the time came for her to go it would be hard to part with the Doctor, but now that reality was fast approaching, Rose realised that it was going to be a lot harder than she had first thought.

Rose didn't know what else to do at that moment in time, so she just lay back down on the Doctor's chest and finally fell into a somewhat troubled sleep.

~...~

When the Doctor awoke in the morning, the first thing he noticed was Rose lying on his chest asleep. He didn't want to wake her, but he wanted to get as much done today as possible. He knew they didn't have much time and he wanted to take her everywhere, but that was just impossible. What the Doctor didn't know is that the time they had left was a lot shorter than he thought.

Deciding that it was time to wake her up, the Doctor gently stroked one of Rose's wings, being as careful as he could so he didn't hurt her or damage her in anyway. Rose stirred and opened her eyes. She looked at the Doctor.

"Morning," the Doctor said.

"_Morning," _Rose replied, trying to sound happy, but knowing that she wasn't being very convincing.

"What's up?" The Doctor asked.

_"Nothing." _Rose told him.

"So where d'you wanna go today then?" The Doctor asked.

"_Wherever," _Rose replied, still not sounding herself.

"OK, wherever it is." The Doctor jumped out of his bed and made his way to the bathroom, grabbing his clothes on the way. Rose watched as he went. She felt sad that in three days time she would never be able to watch him do that again. It was a stupid thing really, that most people took for granted, but now that Rose realised that she was never going to get many more chances to do this and the reality of that made Rose feel sad.

She thought about all the other things that she would not be able to do ever again when she left for good. She would never be able to sit with the Doctor and talk to him like they used to before she died; she would never get the chance to talk to any of her friends again – not that she could have done that anyway as she was a butterfly, but still...

Rose didn't want what she had to end, but she knew that it was inevitable. The Doctor had told her that he would see if he could do anything to make her look like a human again, but obviously that was never going to happen, she knew that already, though. But it was still a question she had to ask.

She must've have thought about the things that she was going to miss when she was gone really deeply, because she didn't notice when the Doctor came out of the bathroom and looked at her with a bright smile – though it didn't quite reach his eyes as he, too, was feeling upset about the fact that the two of them didn't have long left.

"You OK Rose?" He asked as he walked up to the bed where Rose sat.

"_Yeah, just thinking." _She replied.

"'Bout what?"

"_What I'm going to miss when I'm gone." _She told him.

"Rose, try not to think about it too much." The Doctor told her.

"_I'll try, but we don't have long together." _Rose said. She had to tell him that they only had about three days – if that.

"I know, but we have to make the most of the time we have left. We can't waste it."

"_Doctor, we have about three days." _

"How do you know?"

"_My dad came to me during the night and told me. Doctor, I don't want this to end: ever." _Rose told him, the emotion evident in her voice.

"Oh, Rose..." The Doctor wanted to go over and hug her, but knew that he couldn't. It felt weird just standing there not doing anything. It wasn't fair. None of it.

"_Anyway, we better get a move on. Three days is not a long time." _Rose cheered up slightly, but the Doctor could still tell that she was upset about this whole thing. And so was he, there was no way he could deny it. He didn't want to.

The two of them walked down the corridor, thinking about things that they didn't want to say out loud. Like, what were they going to do without one another? That was the question on both of their minds.

~...~

Not too long later, they were in the control room deciding where 'wherever' was going to be. Neither of them really knew where they wanted to go. They had been to so many places that it was hard to pick where they wanted to go next. However, Rose thought that maybe they should just go out somewhere new, somewhere where they knew there would be nothing going wrong, though, that was never guaranteed when with the Doctor.

The Doctor agreed – though, slightly reluctantly – that the two of them should have a relaxing day just talking about where they had been over the years. So that's where they went. The Doctor set the co-ordinates for a place which had a tranquil atmosphere and had an amazing view that the two of them could look at as they talked.

The TARDIS was soon in motion, the ride, as usual, was bumpy, though not as bumpy as it had been, which was nice.

It wasn't long before they landed and the Doctor grabbed his coat before he and Rose made their way out of the TARDIS and into the unknown.

They looked around at where they had landed. It was a quiet place that looked like a country park of some sort, though much more amazing to look at. There were trees everywhere in what seemed random places, but within those random places, they fitted. Nothing looked out of place. The sky was blue and there wasn't a cloud in the sky. It was also warm, but not hot. There was a nice cool breeze blowing around them which sent the Doctor's hair in funny directions; even more so than normal.

The one thing that caught both their eyes though, was the view. The view was stunning. They were on some sort of cliff and by standing right at the edge you could see for miles and miles. Below them, in the view, was the sea. A bright blue that shined as the sun hit it. The water glistened like billions of tiny diamonds moving with the waves. It was – as the Doctor used to say – fantastic. This was a place where it seemed nothing could go wrong. It was the perfect place to lay back in the sunshine and talk.

~...~

Half an hour later, the Doctor and Rose were on the soft green grass looking out at the view. Neither of them had brought up a conversation yet, though both of them wanted to, but just couldn't find the words to say to the other.

It's funny, because, when you lose someone you wish you had said something to them that you never got the chance. Or you wanted to have that one last conversation with them before their time was up. But when you're given that chance, your words disappear and you don't know what you want to say anymore.

Finally, the Doctor broke the silence.

"Do you remember the time when I took you to Platform One on our 'first date'?" The Doctor asked. Rose looked at him.

"_Yeah, that was strange for me. I guess I didn't know what to expect. It was sad though, seeing your planet die." _

"I know, I guess I was desperate to impress you."

"_That you were." _

"It seems like that was a lifetime ago now." The Doctor told her.

"_Well, for you, it kinda was." _The Doctor laughed and Rose joined him.

The two of them talked and laughed some more as they remembered their time together and all that they had been through. Both the good times and the not so good times, as it were. Both of them were lost in their conversation that they didn't notice the sun go down as time moved on. It was like there was nothing else to worry about in the world anymore. All their fears disappeared and they were the only two beings in the universe for a matter of hours. It was a feeling that they both knew wouldn't come again.

When they did make their way back to the TARDIS, it was dark. The sky was pitch black and the moon shone above their heads. The stars had come out and the sky had been lit up. It was a picture perfect night – the last picture perfect night that they would have together.

~...~

_**So sorry for the wait guys. I had no idea what I was going to do for this chapter and then I kinda got my act together and was like: you have to finish this chapter tonight 'cos people are waiting. So yeah, here we are. **_

_**The next chapter, I think, will be the last. There may or may not be an epilogue of some sort after that, but next chapter will definitely be one of the last. I hope you've enjoyed it thus far and I can't wait to hear what you think.**_

_**Sorry again for the long wait.**_

_**OAO**_

_**Markie! **_


	11. Break free let go

Those precious three days that the Doctor and Rose knew were their last together, had gone by so very quickly. They both so desperately wanted more time together, but they both knew that that was never going to happen. This was it; the end; their final adventure.

The Doctor especially was finding it hard. The last three days would always be in his hearts, maybe more so than the rest of the days he had spent with Rose over the last few years. He knew that he would lose her one day, he had always known that. But he didn't expect to have to lose her so soon or in the way that he had lost her. Even though she was here with him at the moment, by the end of the day he knew she wouldn't. It was hard for him to comprehend. He didn't want this to happen, but he had to stay strong and he had to just accept this. No matter how hard it would be.

Rose didn't want to go, she wanted more than anything to be able to stay with the Doctor forever, but she knew she couldn't. This was really it. She would never be by his side again. Not until he dies, but she hoped that that wouldn't happen for a while. She would want him to have a long life and move on.

Donna, Martha and Jack, didn't know what to do. They had seen how the Doctor and Rose had been over the last three days. They knew that the end for just around the bend. It wouldn't be long until Rose was really gone forever. They knew that by the end of the day Rose would be truly gone forever. It was hard to imagine life without her. Even though they thought that when she first died she was gone forever, when she came back it was like it had never happened and that it was back to old times. Even though she was a butterfly, it made no difference as far as they were concerned. It was just hard.

~...~

The Doctor and Rose sat in the TARDIS garden together and alone. They sat there in silence, not knowing what to say to each other. They were both thinking of the adventures they had been on together. How some of them had made them laugh; how some of them had made them scared and how some of them had even made them cry.

As they sat together, Rose would occasionally look over at the Doctor sat on the grass and he would look at her for a second, but they never caught each other's eyes. They didn't even realise that the other was looking.

The garden was bright and colourful, but their moods weren't. If it had been raining and had a greyer feel to it, then it would probably match their moods. They were both sad, and they just didn't know what to say to each other in attempt to cheer each other up. It was like they had already said it all. The line of a song popped up in their heads: _Said it all, nothing to say at all._

"I don't know what I am going to do without you, Rose." The Doctor's voice was low and full of emotion and it startled Rose when he spoke.

"I don't know what I'm going to do without you either." Rose said back, her voice, too, full of emotion.

"This is so hard. In a few hours I'm never going to see you again and I just don't know what to do."

"You'll be fine."

"Really?"

"Yes," Rose said it in a way that sounded like she was certain. The Doctor did everything he could to believe her.

The two of them were back in silence again soon after. They continued to stare at the view of the garden. It was beautiful and they realised that this was the only happy thing that was in here.

"I don't want to go." Rose admitted breaking the now defining silence. The Doctor looked at her.

"I don't want you to go either." The Doctor's voice hadn't lost any of the emotion, if anything it had gained more. He didn't want to break down. That wasn't how he wanted Rose to remember him. He wanted to be the bubbly, smiley Doctor that found adventure in anything, but there was no way he could be that Doctor now. He just couldn't be him.

"I need you to promise me something, Doctor." Rose told him finally turning around to face him fully. Her small butterfly form moving closer to him.

"Anything,"

"I need you to promise that will move on, that you will be happy. That's why I was sent back, remember? To help you move on, to tell you to move on."

"All I can do is try, but I can't promise anything. This is hard, Rose. This is one of the hardest things I have ever been through." The Doctor didn't know if he could, but he would try for Rose's sake. She had come back in order to help him to move on, all he could do now was repay her for her actions by doing what she set out to do. It would be hard, there was no doubting that, but deep down, maybe there was a chance that he could move on and be happy again.

"Thank you."

Suddenly a light shone in the corner of the Doctor's eye and he looked down to see Rose bathed in a bright gold light. He looked down in surprise and knew that this was it. It was finally happening.

"Rose," he breathed.

Rose looked at herself before looking the Doctor in the eye. "It's time." She whispered.

"No, no I'm not ready." The Doctor's voice was slightly panicky now.

"I'm sorry, I really am. Doctor, there's nothing I can do."

"Please don't go. You can't go."

"I'm sorry." The light shone brighter and the Doctor moved back away from the light. The light seemed to get further away, but as it did a figure became visible. Even though the Doctor couldn't see the figure's face, but he knew that it was Rose. He could instantly tell. He would know her anywhere.

"Rose,"

Rose stepped out of the light. Her appearance not quite full, she was like a ghost. She was a ghost. It had been a long time since the Doctor had seen Rose like she used to be in her human form. For a second or two it felt like she was back with him and that she wasn't going away. But then the reality of what was happening hit him again and he looked at her with sadness visible in his eyes.

"I can't believe this is really it." He said trying not to break down.

"I know," Rose looked down sadly.

"I'm going to miss you."

"I'm going to miss you too." Rose had tears running down her ghostly cheeks now and the Doctor was nearly there.

"God, this is so hard. I really don't want you to go."

"I have to."

"I know,"

The Doctor could see that she was fading now and he knew that he had to say what he had needed to say for ages now. He moved closer to her and pressed his lips to hers. Rose responded and it was only a few seconds before the kiss ended. They couldn't waste time, not again. Rose looked at the Doctor and he looked at her.

"I love you Doctor. Remember that. If nothing else, then just please remember that I love you." Rose was really beginning to fade now and the Doctor had to say it before she disappeared again forever.

"Rose..." he choked on his tears when saying her name and tried to recompose himself before saying what he was so desperately trying to say. "I...I...I lo..." but she was gone.

The Doctor collapsed to the ground, weeping. He put his head in his hands and screamed in anguish. She was gone, she was really gone. And once again he had run out of time. He hadn't told her what he wanted to tell her. Once again, the Time Lord had run out of time.

~...~

He felt numb, really numb. He didn't even feel anything when Jack had come in and held him as he cried. Jack couldn't help but cry with the Time Lord and when Martha and Donna had come in, they too, had cried with them.

"I run out of time. I never told her. My last chance and I never told her." The Doctor sobbed. Jack didn't say anything, but knew exactly what the Doctor meant. He knew what Rose had meant to the Doctor and he knew what the Doctor had wanted to tell her for so long now. Jack knew that the Doctor loved her and now she was gone and he couldn't tell her. Sometimes life just wasn't fair.

However, the Doctor kept with him Rose's words. He would move on he knew he would. He had to. Even if it was the last thing he did, he would make sure that he kept his promise to Rose. He wouldn't let her down.

~...~

_Butterfly fly, fly away from her  
>I know we'll try<br>Through the laughter and the tears  
>You'll always be a part of me<br>And in my heart you'll always be  
>Butterfly, fly, fly away<br>fly away_

_~...~_

* * *

><p><em><strong>And there we have it, guys! Butterfly is finally finished. I hope that you have enjoyed it (hope you didn't cry too much XD) and I would like to thank everyone who has followed this story and has reviewed and has favourite-d. You guys are pretty much my backbone. You guys keep me going and I know I say that a lot, but you do. Thank you so much. You guys are truly amazing and I love you all!<strong>_

_**OAO**_

_**Markie xx**_


End file.
